winning. losing.

It's time for a little update during the week which i wasn't online.
I represented safra for singapore opens in 3p and air rifle. Initially was supposed to participate in prone too, but had chem spa which was too late to be exempted. Anyway i wasn't expecting much cause i didn't train much at all other than the day before each event - was still too traumatised over hew's incident.
I did not want to go out. I did not want to train. I did not want to study. I wanted time to stop for me to accept the fact that she's not here anymore. I wanted time to turn back so that I can like call her or something the night before to chat with her.
No more quirky smiles, no more sarcastic remarks, no more funky hairdo. No more hew. Her shadow's gone.
Surprisingly, even though i haven't touched 3p for 1 month, i came in second with a personal best (562/600). The lady who came in first is a spunky indonesian who shot 572 (Her name's Inca. Cool huh?). Jingna came in third with 560 (This is probaly her personal lowest cause she was tired. So i really considered myself lucky.) The other bonus was the team gold. Yep, jingna, peilin and i. Not bad for first day surprises.
Immediately the next day was air rifle, my practice (after my 3p competition) was totally rubbish - shot 94s, 96s. Nothing remarkable cause i knew i had been slacking. But on that day itself i shot 389 and got placed 5th in finals. (wow. first time for spore opens i got into finals. this is my 3rd spore opens.) Still, after the finals, i went neither up nor down - 5th. Oh well, but then again i wasn't expecting much. However safra team (again jingna, adrienne and me) bagged the gold, with jingna being her usual self, climbing from 3rd position (390) in finals to the 1st, bringing down jasmine (394). Now that's what i call an exciting match. Pity i wasn't one of the audiences to cheer and gasp at the result... ^^'''
Overall not bad for my performance considering the lack of training - 2 team gold, 1 ind silver. I am dedicating these medals to hew.

Sorry, no more poems, fanfiction for the time being cause my whole mind is preoccupied with hew, studies, hew, ntt, hew, stress. You get the idea.

Sometimes don't you think that no matter how hard you try, you will always get crap thrown back at you? That's how i feel now.